Doing A Crap Job

I have had to ask the same harsh question to people repeatedly recently. “Why haven’t you done your work properly?”

The responses have ranged from a blank denial that they haven’t done their job properly, combined with doing a runner when asked by me to prove it! You can’t prove something that hasn’t happened!

Other responses go into lies and very big ones! Clearly people in the workforce who have no idea of the truth and wouldn’t know the truth if it came up and spanked them on the arse with a bulldozer!

Doing a proper job is not difficult. You simply do as you are told. Telephone someone now means pick up the phone and make a call! Email me this that or the other means do exactly that! Go and urinate. Walk to the bathroom and take a pee! Make the coffee! – Who really does not know how to do that! Please enlighten me for the love of the baby Jesus and the Virgin Mary!

It seems to me that there is a massive issue in that employers are not employing people fit fotr their job roles and many are employing people to roles that are far too senior and unsuitable for them just because they gave the right bullshit in the interview room! This is damaging business. To add to this every public sector worker I have spoken too since the beginning of the year I could not trust if I employed them. Each one of them could not be trusted to go to the shop for a pint of milk with the right money and come back with the correct change! This is the public sector you and I pay their wages through our taxes. Do you really want people like this in your hospitals, local councils, police forces etc? There are so many examples of this in public service from the lowest level for example toilet cleaner right up to chief executive level and beyond.

I have come to the conclusion that university tuition fees are partly to blame because everyone seems to get a degree for their £27 or so thousand and not necessarily one that they have worked properly for. They have effectively bought it!

I must also take aim at English teachers at every level. For fucks sake teach the fucking kids to read properly. You start at the top of the document and read to the end. You do not pick and choose what to fucking read. Based on the standard of reading these days I do have to wonder how many English teachers paid a backhander to get the PGCE. I know of several schools whose English teachers need to be investigated for this!

I also think the public sector needs an investigation into the qualifications of some of its workers, in terms of fraudulent qualifications. Most seem to sleep through any courses they are put on and then try and blag it.

Tell me I am wrong but we have vast swathes of the workforce that are not bright enough to be in any post well maybe they could be a fence post concreted in the ground but that’s about it!

Soon this going to affect business hard. The UK is a trading stranger and we as country are not overly well endowed with employable talent as the above shows. Employers and senior managers need to wake and manage too. Stop over supporting your staff. Its not big and its not clever. The NHS is worth a clear shout as this is an organisation it’s almost impossible to get sacked from! Top tip at senior manager level and above. Sack staff sooner it is better for your business. The P45 is an excellent management tool.

To staff, do your work properly the first time round, stop fucking about and Facebooking your mates when you are supposed to be working and blaming others because you were too lazy. Follow the process you were taught and follow it properly. Oh and fraud in the workplace isn’t a clever thing either!

No Workey!!

I have had a much larger than the normal number of requests this week to return to work and active business.

The situation is this. I am totally retired from work now and have been since 31.12.2020. I will never work again. The brain is up for it but the body is definitely not!

Normally now I get 1 or 2 “please come back as I am looking for X or Y” this week there has been 19 enquiries!

Some of them have been for very meaty corporate projects where a great difference could be made. One was even weekly commuting to Geneva as soon as COVID was sorted! I have been banned from flying since 2014!

It looks like that despite Covid there is still some seriously good and highly valuable stuff kicking off. This is very good to see. It looks like some of the best business specialists, technology specialists, senior consultants and project managers are going to get some great opportunities to earn lots of money in spite of the dreaded IR35 and some will get a chance to get boat loads of Avios points too when restrictions are lifted.

I simply cannot work any more chaps and chapesses! That’s the long and short of it.

I must proffer thanks to some friends who think I can still work and pull off very large projects while suffering from chronic pain every day even working from home! To, Gerald, Mike and Simon, Thank you for your faith in me! I still cannot do it!

I will however introduce friends to friends who need assistance for corporate projects and the Networking Section of The Club is also available for this purpose. (Registration required).

I will consider making a public register on this site as a favour to my friends if there is very high demand.

Friends who are looking for work or who need people can also drop me a note below.

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Major Court Guinness Update 01/09/2020

  1. This website and its associated services have had 9,000 visitors in August 2020
  2. The July 2020 edition of The Trade House Magazine has had 33,000 unique readers. A copy is below. July and August are always slow for publishing.
  3. The September 2020 edition of The Trade House Magazine has been canceled. The next issue will be the October 2020 issue.
  4. The Trade Suite has reopened FundOne and is accepting initial pitches.
  5. The Trade Club has welcomed some wonderful new members.
  6. The Trade Club merger is now complete and we are accepting members. You can register here.
  7. The Trade Counter has some wonderful new products.
  8. We are still having issues sourcing from China. Customers are advised to start considering stock requirements from China for Christmas 2020 and beyond now. Please contact me if you require any advice.
  9. The business and property opportunities database has reached a total value of £2,100,000,000
  10. The Trade Suite has taken on Project Companions.
  11. Our Free Breakfast offer is back!
  12. The Thieving Three situation rumbles on. They have repaid some but not all monies owed and are still in debt for a hefty invoice for the waste of my time as are their debt collectors.
  13. The advertising deadline for The next edition of The Trade House Magazine is 21/08/2020 at 18:00 GMT
  14. The Trade House is fully open for business.
  15. Court Guinness has suffered some new health issues.
  16. There have been some changes in the way you have to communicate with me. Click here for more information. This is owing to further deterioration in my hearing.
  17. All suppliers, advertisers, associates and partners must become Trade Club members by the end of September 2020.
  18. Please note the new policy on London meetings, these will only now happen at or in the vicinity of Heathrow Airport.
  19. I have removed the last of the blocked Virgin Media IP ranges belonging to my stalkers. I shall not hesitate to reinstate the block if my stalkers return.
  20. On a happy note, it is 2 years to the day that I signed, exchanged and completed on a new home in Leamington Spa. I am delighted to have made the move.
  21. I am working on a new specialist consultancy in an advisory capacity. More news will be available here towards the end of the year.
  22. Having brought some technical kit in from Malaysia and being very happy with it. I am considering importing the following shortly to sell. Windows 10 tablets, Windows 10 laptops, SFF Pc’s, Android tablets, Android smartphones, Android phablets, smartwatches, wearables, NAS devices, smart speakers. I bought a smartwatch, Windows tablet, Andriod tablet and smartphone, an SFF PC, a speaker and a NAS device and they are excellent. They also significantly undercut the competition on price. I am able to demo this kit to potential resellers.
  23. There are a number of other significant updates to the website and its content,

Pub For Sale Leicestershire – Leasehold

On behalf of my office, The P2 Set I am delighted to offer to market a delightful pub and guest house in North Leicestershire. The Lounge and bar trade well and the property has 20 parking spaces an outdoor area with smoking solution, 8 let

On behalf of my office, The P2 Set I am  delighted to offer to market a delightful pub and guest house in North Leicestershire.
The Lounge and bar trade well and the property has 20 parking spaces an outdoor area with smoking solution, 8 letting rooms and 2 bedroom owners accommodation.
The pub is free of tie.
Strictly Confidential Sale.
Leasehold £50,000
Prospectus and financial information in office now.
Please click here to go to the office website for more information.

The 9 Month Update

So its just shy of 9 months since I cane out of a coma and had to “retire”. Well all those who have kept up at the back will know that I adjusted that to semi-retirement and either sold or closed down most of my business interests. I will talk more about that later in this update. 

Health wise I now use a mobility scooter full time.  Yes. It has had some customisation work already and more is planned! After a disaster with a wheelchair (Yes, I crashed it a number of  times!)  I can delightfully inform people that, yes, i have crashed it and that it was a van driver’s fault and not mine. I am also more and more reliant on my oxygen tanks. I really ought to become a shareholder in Gox!  Some of the side effects of the hospital stay have added to my growing list of ailments too, which has slowed up my recovery. The events of February and March 2018 really screwed things up.

A house move half way up the country nearly two months ago went rather well and the new house can now be called a home. Nothing was broken and nothing went missing. The only downside being having to do the final “lift and shift” in the pouring rain! I can also safely say that I have learned more of the nuances of the M40 especially those involving the traffic cops. I had half expected to be running up and down the M40 between Warwickshire and London very frequently but this has yet to happen at the frequency I had expected with only one “emergency dash” so far!

No update would be complete without discussing work. I have discussed in the past how happy I am that I did not finally fully retire.  I think I have got this part time working lark sorted. I believe it has helped my recovery. I know that since April I have yet to work more than 30 hours a week and the maximum should be 25. This is certainly much better than my previous 60 – 70+ hours a week.

I must issue a domain reminder. and are now closed. You must use

The Trade House is doing well. The magazine is currently growing (straight line average at 17% per month. The end of year special will be published soon and you can read the latest issue below.

The Trade Counter continues to have products added and we now sell on Facebook too. I will  be pushing FundOne and FundTwo on The Trade Suite in 2019. The 2018 campaign for these two was surprisingly rather slow. The Trade Desk has been publicly launched and is starting to tick along nicely. I have branded some other easy-to-deliver services under  the Trade House banner too. This website has had a large number of updates and there are also new micro sites offering other targeted tools including a new communications platform.

That’s all for now 🙂

Update :: End September 2018.

September has been both exceptionally busy and successful. I am rather pleased that I have managed to avoid any hospital visits this month. I even manged to find a major piece of computer kit I forgot I had as I cleared and packed my house ready for a forthcoming relocation! How you lose a rack mount server in this day and age is anyone’s guess! This server will be going on eBay shortly. Its safe to say I got rid of a lot of junk!

I am also pleased to announce the return of my palate’s kindly reaction to real ale after a 7 month absence. I know that pubs everywhere will pleased by this and the positive effect this will have on their takings!

This is a bit of a longer update from me than is usual and is structured differently.

Nothing has been broken or crashed this month!


The final “shift” in the long running and now overdue relocation will take place on 6th October. Thanks to many people who attended the leaving drinks party the other week. By popular demand I am holding another drinks party this Tuesday 2nd October 2018 in South West London. Please contact me if you wish to attend.

Temporary Office Closure

The office will be shut from 18:00 04/10/2018 until 08:00 10/10/2018 to allow for the relocation. I will be taking telephone calls and checking emails and our support channels regularly during this time so feel free to get in touch. This down to the relocation.

Trade House Update

I must start by thanking both the 6623 unique readers of September’s issue of The Trade House magazine and the 3101 unique readers who have already read the October issue. Thank You.

Advertising in the magazine is still FREE!

The Trade House now has a Slack support channel here.

The Trade Suite marks a genteel return to my personal investment activities and I have started its first fund, which looks to invest by the end of January 2019. I am receiving proposals in written form with accompanying documentation Now!. I will be holding 1-2-1 pitch sessions week commencing 05/11/2018 with site visits during the week 12/11/2018. I  You can read more here. 

The Trade Counter has had many new products added. A small reminder that you really need to order soon if you wish to supply Christmas customers with our stock. Please see our ranges here.

The Trade Lounge is growing slowly but that is the way I like it. See here for more information.

An interactive version of The Trade House magazine is below.

If you need to contact me you can use this form.

[contact-form-7 id=”45234″ title=”Contact form 1″]




Retirement – The Four Month Update

So today marks four months to the day that I abruptly retired on health grounds. I had no choice really. A strong combination of medical advice and `er indoors “advice” left me in no doubt that after heart failure I could not not go back 60 hours+ a week, the stress of my work and the constant travelling.

A friend of mine said at the time “Court, the thought of you with too much time on your hands is, frankly, very, very scary!”

Truth be told doing nothing all week was not going to work very well and I felt it after a month. I held on to two business interests (Virtual Office and Weekly Deals). I sold out of or exited everything else.

Truth be told, I got too bored too quickly. I still cannot abide daytime TV unless its Bloomberg. With Bloomberg once you have watched the pre-market-open slot you have seen nearly everything that will be on for the rest of the day! I also tired too quickly. There was however no going back to the old lifestyle.

I decided that Weekly Deals needed to be restructured and I changed it to monthly publishing schedule and also gave it a rebrand. This seems to be working really well and I am enjoying building a new venture, whilst only working 20-25 hours a week tops. I am really enjoying the work that goes into creating a publication such as this and I am pleased that this work is keeping me somewhat active in a matter that is unlikely to cause a health issue. My medical consultants were supportive of this when I last saw them nearly a fortnight ago. I have no intention of going over the 25 hour cap. The possible health ramifications are soooo not worth it. I even got back back in to ding  some coding a week or two back. It was a small job (an hour or so) on one of my internal apps to make it work again after it broke! I had not written or debugged code in so long that it was nice to get back to it for a change of scenery. Eagle eyed readers will note a few tweaks to this website too.

I have managed to stay a non smoker after smoking 1-2 packs a day for over 20 years. The wheelchair hasn’t reappeared since my last update and very surprisingly since my last update I have not managed to break anything else. I was most surprised and somewhat annoyed to find out some of my medication is banned in some countries and even more angered to find out how difficult it is to work out what medication is banned in which countries.

Any way, that is all for now folks. I will be back in a month or two with another update.